When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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