Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
