HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
