she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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