my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
