weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
