I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
