Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
