sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
