I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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