grandma shit on top of the toilet
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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