He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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