where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
