tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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