Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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