and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
