"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
