i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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