Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
