If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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