if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
