protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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