omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
