Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
