were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
