Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize