A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
