It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
