I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
