you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
