I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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