is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oh god it's open bar.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
