Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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