Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
