Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
