Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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