I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
