He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
