whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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