normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
