Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
