i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
