Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize