I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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