That's intense
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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