sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
