Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Four minutes until I can fart!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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