I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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