I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize