Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
