Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
