I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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