I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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