Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
