Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
