my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
