So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
