No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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