i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
