Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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