So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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