I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
