I hope mine doesn't look like that
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
