awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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