Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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